The Drowning Howl: Saturday July 9, 2022 5:22am Good morning - unless it's the afternoon or evening. Time for another weekly recap at the Drowning Howl. Our top story, after extensive testing, the popular new Smorgasburger was finally deemed safe for consumption yesterday. Authorities had acted on research that connected the fast food option's world-wide appearance with an average two-inch increase in waist size across the population. According to the lab report - sponsored by Foodstuffs - high concentrations of sugar and fat, though present in the sandwich, pose absolutely no threat to your health, as long as you eat nothing else for the rest of the day and follow up with strenuous exercise for four to six hours. They insist that it must be something else making people fat, such as using too much salad dressing. Our future prosperity rests upon firm theoretical foundations, say the mathematicians of Fiscal Foresight, a think tank devoted to economic pro...
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