The Drowning Howl: Sunday July 17, 2022
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2:00am Good early morning again, and welcome to the Drowning Howl where fiction is stranger than truth, the way it's supposed to be. Here are our weekly announcements. A nationwide breakdown in internet service has raised concerns of foreign sabotage. The trouble started when an unidentified satellite was caught blinking suspiciously over a key installation in the Arctic Archipelago by one of our military balloons. Chaos broke out as consumers struggled to complete their transactions in Cyrillic and as emergency services were paralyzed by a powerful propaganda broadcast which drowned out all incoming calls. Our service provider dares not admit its vulnerability to such attacks and has assumed full responsibility for the service interruption, while the satellite's distant owner has, characteristically, denied any involvement. The incident proved a point for amateur sociologists who say that trust in computers has risen to dangerous levels. They warn that people should not trust computers, which are far too prone to malfunctions. You cannot trust what they say; they don't even know what it means. Above all, just because they say what you want doesn't mean that it's accurate. A compromised computer is worse than a politician when it comes to trust. It will lead you by the nose, telling you what you want to hear, until the disastrous truth of its failure is upon you. We are advised to trust instead our fellow flesh-and-blood humans when they say that we can't turn our backs on those silicone blockheads for an instant. Test before you trust. In the markets cryptocurrencies have performed poorly of late, perplexing many of its once confident investors. Led to believe that their money would only multiply, they are at a loss to understand why they are at such a loss. The answer is elementary. There are several ways to shore up a stumbling fiat currency like ours. One way is by governments suppressing the price of gold by selling tons of it cheap. But another may be to introduce an even less reliable currency than the one we're already using to millions and millions of pigeons. Either way, a fiat currency increases in value as the value of its competitors drops. Locals are receiving a break from the heat wave being experienced around the world this summer. Thanks to a nearby forest fire, the sun here has been blotted out by a thick cloud of smoke, lowering temperatures well into the comfort zone. As a further benefit, the smoke has driven out all the flying pests that normally plague this time of year. Why, if it weren't for its extensive destruction, it wouldn't be such a bad fire at all. Still, persons with respiratory challenges in the affected area are advised to avoid all outdoor activities that could cause hyperventilation. For the rest, the effect of such activities should be no worse than smoking a Gitanes. On the other hand, it was a bit of floating sea pollution that saved a man's life 100 miles off the West coast of Morocco last week. A synthetic white bubble, capable of swallowing a man whole, turned out to provide just the help a stricken rafter needed to keep his head above water until he could be spotted by a rescue helicopter. After being picked up, he was safely returned to his home village on a small uncharted island in the region and is not expected to be heard from again. I love a happy ending. For the whole Howl here, this is me wishing you all the best this Sunday morning. Good bye and see you next week. |
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| © 2022. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
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